The Inquiry into Freedom

image

I wonder all the time about the people in my life and why they’re there.  I didn’t really used to care much before.

I thought life was a competition and people were obstacles.

What would Byron Katie say about this?

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought? and

‘Turn it around’

When I go into ‘inquiry or the Work’ as Byron calls it I discover the following:

Life is a competition
Is it true No
How do you react when you think that thought? I feel like a failure
Who would you be without the thought? A success.  Relaxed.
Turn it around  I am in competition.  I am a failure

People are obstacles
Is it true No
How do you react when you think that thought?  Annoyed
Who would you be without the thought?  Less frustrated, patient. Present. At peace.
Turn it around  I am an obstacle

By observing my feelings and my judgements I’ve uncovered freedom.  My strongest emotions towards other people and situations are my truth.  My dark and ugly truth.  Every person tears back a putrid layer and exposes fetid flesh.

The question is, will I stare down my fear or will I turn my back?

Will I embrace myself, cherishing the dark and the light?

I wonder which mirror I should look into.  For no reason other than a fleeting amusement at this present moment.

Which mirror is for learning, teaching, sharing, journeying, loving, playing, friendship?

Which mirror is strong and resolute like a mountain?

Which mirror ebb’s and flows like the tide?

Which mirror will show up like poison and disappear in a storm?

We are all here to serve ourselves..

If I serve myself I serve everyone & everything.

IF I love myself, I have the opportunity to love everyone and everything.  This is freedom.

Love is freedom.  And THIS is the only answer to every question.

What does that mean for me today?
How will I nourish myself today?

I appreciated the fluid movement of a butterfly as she defied gravity and glided past my nose

I found beauty in my thoughts

I found calm in my body

I let go of yesterday

I surrendered to today

Advertisements

Panchakarma

Panchakarma means ‘5 actions’.  Pancha means 5.  Karma means action or procedure.

Panchakarma is the penultimate cleanse for the elimination of toxins (ama) and the replenishment of tissues.  Panchakarma comes from the ancient, holistic, healing system of Ayurveda which has its roots in India.

For five thousand years the people of India and China have been using plants to treat every disease known to mankind.  Why?  Because it works.  10 years ago a group of traditional scientists asked US Congress to fund research into Ayurveda.  What started as a $10m project grew into $100m. Ayurveda was approved as an addition to the 27th arm of NCCAM – the National Centre for Complementary and Alternative Medicine as a result.

This study was heavily related to the Human Genome Project which was formed to study how genes function individually and collectively.

How do genes relate to Ayurveda and Panchakarma?

Genes are switched on and off as we age.  When genes are on they make protein and perform a function.  And vice versa.  As we grow older some genes are switched on, others off.

Herbal therapy (ayurveda) works by utilising the protection system of a plant.  Plants produce toxins to protect themselves from insects.  These toxins have a unique ability to bind to our genes.  They provide the switch that the body hasn’t been capable of actioning.

There are 3 stages of PK therapy:
1.  Purva Karma – pre-treatment
2.  Pradhana Karma – primary treatment
3.  Paschat Karma – post treatment

The 5 actions referred to consist of the following and appear at  various times during the 3 stages of PK.

1. Vamana – purging
2.  Virechana – liver flush
3.  Vasti – enema
4.  Nasya – nasal treatment
5.  Rakthamokshana – bloodletting

I’m Day 5 of a 21 day PK.  Day 1 I felt completely overwhelmed.  This might have had something to do with moving out of my villa and packing all of my worldly possessions (again) into bags…knowing that as of the 21st June I’m not sure where my path is going to take me..and said bags (again).  It’s not so much stress as its the emotion that comes with goodbyes, closing one door to open another that seems to put me into a temporary tailspin.  But that lasted one day and I woke up on Day 2 feeling completely settled in.

So what happens when Panchakarmering?

Each day begins with medicated ghee (Snehapana).  Ghee is derived from clarified butter – the protein is removed.  The purpose of the ghee is to bind to the toxins (ama) in the body.  The body is literally saturated with ghee. Tomorrow I have my last serving of 10 tablespoons with some nasty looking herbs swimming in the bottom.  Taking it is not so bad, and my body was craving the fat the first few days…now..not so much.

image

7am is yoga time for an hour.

Then Kitcheree is served for breakfast and lunch.  I really love kitcheree.  Its such a great comfort food.  Rice, mung dhal, veges and spices are combined into a soupy mix that my body craves..it craves it because I’ve literally felt like I’ve been starving!..which is unusual.  Because when I fast I rarely feel like I’m starving…ironically…

image

In the afternoon, EVERY day I have 2 hours of treatments including Abhyanga (medicated oil massage), Shirodhara (medicated oil dripped onto the forehead), Nasya (oil decoction into nostrils),  Pasta (paste of onion, garlic, ginger, pepper applied to the body) and Bashpasweda (steam treatment).

3 times a week a 45 minute meditation is offered which I generally decline preferring the mozzie-less, air conditioned comfort of my awesome room and a guided meditation of my choosing.

Purva karma finishes for me shortly and I move into the primary treatment next week.

Why are you doing another detox?

My latest bloods show Candida, low white blood cell count (low immune system) and low thyroid.  Hormone, electrolyte panels and a few other bits haven’t come back yet.  But my system is so ready for a reset.  I tend to do monthly liver flushes but the last structured fast was back in December.  None of the above are surprising after having parasites.  Panchakarma is literally a program of rejuvenation so it makes sense.

Alternative medicine takes more time and a more effort than traditional medicine to get results, but I’m willing to do this rather than to fall prey to a Western medical system, that frankly I feel doesn’t serve me or anyone.  I just can’t support the miseducation given to thousands that are simply listening to an authority figure for want of better information and choices.

I have a strong belief in mind medicine.  Its really crazy how stress, anxiety and depression can f#@k up your body.  I love the philosophy of Ayurveda because of this.  As well as having amusing names for conditions like Cantankerous bowel syndrome to keep me entertained, Ayurveda encompasses not only science but religion and philosophy.

In Ayurveda the whole of life’s journey is considered to be sacred.  Truth is Being, Pure existence, the source of all life.  Ayurveda is a science of Truth as it is expressed in life.

Isn’t that beautiful?

 

The 7 stages of grief

The seven emotional stages of grief are usually understood to be shock or disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and acceptance/hope. Symptoms of grief can be emotional, physical, social, or religious in nature.

One day, after 3 years of tough times, when Scott was at his lowest and I didn’t know what else to do, Luger came into our lives.  An 8 week old ball of fluff and cuteness.  A doberman puppy.  He was for Scott.  But I loved that puppy.  And I didn’t expect to love him.  He was the runt of the litter, and when I saw him fall asleep standing up, isolated from the other puppies, I just had to have him.

LUGER DEC 2008 012Kirsty and her boyslast day with the dogs 027

Luger was different.  He thought he was a person.  Because he was treated as a person.  He got away with everything.  He’d eat anything.  My underwear, socks, whole tubs of butter.  He’d take wallets into the paddock and run through the long grass, scattering cards and notes.

Sleeping on the ground was not for him.  He’d jump and scratch his way up any car door to get inside to a plush comfortable seat.  When he got the ok to hop onto our bed, he’d burrow his way under the blankets until he was right at the end, curled up happily between our feet.

He was so naughty, because we let him be naughty…because he was adorable and we were so in love with him.

When we settled in for a long winters night, with the fire going, Luger would jump on the couch, buried in cushions.  Puppyworld.  Its an amazing place to live.

Scott loved Luger, and Luger loved Scott.  They had a special bond.

We both cried when we had to leave both our puppies behind to go to Hong Kong.  It felt so wrong to leave our babies behind.

 

Luger died on the 30th November 2014.  A year to the day of Scott’s funeral.  I like to think that Scott called him home.  That’s the only thing that makes me ok with him dying.

I only found out he died a few days ago.  I tried to dismiss his death, but I can’t, because this has truly been the worst 14 months of my life.

I’m only human.   And Scott and Luger, they were my family.  I loved that puppy.  And I’m so sad that hes gone.

Shock

I see fire

Depression

Breakeven

Denial

Beneath your beautiful

Bargaining

One more night

Guilt

We are done

Acceptance

Let it be

Hope

Every time you cry