The bubble

The relationship bubble
My friend would tell me that her previous relationship was like a colouring in picture.  Her man embodied the black lines. He was the structure, the encasement, the boundary and the containment.  She was the colour.  With this fluid combination of structure and colour knitted together, the picture came to life.  Sometimes the lines are blurred.  Sometimes the colours seep through the silhouette, but still the picture became more than the sum of both of them individually.

And such is the sometimes tenuous link between the masculine and feminine, where a role is played by both.  The result should always be a union that has structure, colour, freedom and flexibility that allows something beautiful with a life of its own to emerge – 1+ 1 = 3.

But sometimes in our modern society, roles are stretched, pushed, changed and reversed.

Sometimes there is no black and white.  There is no colour.  There are only shades of grey…because the bubble bursts unexpectedly.

The village bubble

What is  the natural course of nature?

Our bodies yearn for a place that is innately part of our DNA.  To return home is the most empowering feeling, because its where we’re meant to be.

We are animals.  We are predators.
We are hunters.  We are gatherers.  We are procreators.  We are living representations of evolution.

But when did this circle of life become so complicated?  How and why did a project or a looming sales target become the catalyst for changes in body chemistry that used to be reserved for survival when faced with a life or death situation.

When did the mind become the saber tooth tiger?  When did the beast start to attack us?

When did we decide this beast could terrorise so many people in the village? Why couldn’t the village come up with a solution?

Where are the villages?

We find our villages at work, on facebook, at networking meetings and sales seminars.  Yes this is our community.  Yes we are surrounded by people.  Yes we are entertained.

But are we satisfied, at an intimate level or do we still feel alone?  Are we still isolated on our islands?  Drowning in fear.  Still afraid to face our grey?

At our most vulnerable, fragile and natural states, we crave connection.  Not words.  Not messages.  We crave deep understanding.  Touch.  Emotion.  We want to feel a place in our village where we can authentically embody this intimacy. .. to feel nurtured…included…wanted..needed…We want to be part of the picture.  We want to drift between every colour imaginable…knowing that to be this connected is a choice…to walk away or to move forward with purpose knowing the village is behind us resolutely holding ground.

Where is this mythical village?  Where are these mythical people?  Are they mythical like the saber tooth?  I live in this village.  Its a real place but it doesn’t feel REAL. It feels like a bubble.

The world does not feel like a bubble

A bubble can isolate, lift, separate or protect

FEAR.  All I know is if I take a step back, retreat into my bubble and look outside, I am scared of what the world has become.  I am scared of what it has moulded me into.  I’m scared of what its thrown at the people I love.  Did they invite it in?  Did I invite it in?  Did thousands and millions of people ask to suffer their way through life?

There are 1001 versions of Diease.  Cancer.  Depression.  Anxiety.  Stress.  Sadness.  Aloneness.  Despair.  Murder.  Abuse.  Suicide.  Hopelessness.  Hunger.

I want to know if everyone thinks this is a normal reality?  It shouldn’t be this complicated.

KISS Is your version of happiness and fulfilment the same as mine?  Do you question the insanity of life?  Do you yearn for simplicity and quiet?

I have a very serious question to ask.

How do I get the saber tooth out without popping my bubble?


Wtf is a spiritual awakening?

..and can we call it something else?
And how does it apply to Ayurveda?

FULL MOON in Sagittarius is here calling us to see through the fog of illusion to pierce the truth within. There is lots of electric and creative energy stirring but we must meet it with grounded discernment. So let’s find some time to be still and just Be, as we allow the Light of the Full Moon to bring her illumination.

Mmmm…this is a subject I’ve been wanting to blog on for some time and this full moon has jockeyed me into position, putting me in the right place at the right time, calling for the right thing…illumination with discernment.

I haven’t come up with a less airy fairy term than spiritual awakening yet..but earlier in my blogging I came up with the acronym BVOM, because its a cutesy non-confrontational way to describe a concept thats not so palatable to everyone.  I wanted terminology that sounded a bit normal…that made ME sound a bit more normal…which is probably impossible because I’m really not very normal…

Best Version of Me refers to digging deep down through sludgy emotional layers to figure out what makes me tick..observing the light and the dark.  After the process of illumination, taking those lessons and integrating them into the matrix…you on Earth…

I have changed.  My name is the same.  I look the same.  But the eyes that I view the world through have been altered permanently.  I feel different.

Yes I’ve been on and am still in a grieving cycle.  But this trauma was a catalyst for a change in direction that I could not have anticipated.

On my deepest meditation at a sound healing here in Ubud, I sank into that place where I felt, heard and observed that I was nothing….And I was everything.

This is the concept of Namaste.


I wasn’t drunk.  But I was high.  Not on drugs…on freedom.

It’s the most magical, mystical feeling to be flying around in meditation space experiencing the connection, the power, love and the infiniteness and the oneness of the Universe.

“I honor the place in you where Spirit lives
I honor the place in you which is
of Love, of Truth, of Light, of Peace,
when you are in that place in you,
and I am in that place in me,
then we are One.”

While I adore food, nutrition and alternative medicine, I have a strong pull to the metaphysical..the stars..the mysteries and the synchroncities.

…And chocolate..I also have a strong pull to chocolate mousse cake..but that could possibly be the candida talking.

Ayurveda means the science of or knowledge of life.  How perfectly has my writing and my path led me to this ancient art of mind, body, spirit?

From enemas to candida, depression to love…ayurveda packages them all up in a chaotic bundle and simply asks me to do 1 thing – to know myself better.  To take the knowledge and apply it to a way of life.  To become the BVOM.

What happens if I don’t?

..of the body
..of the mind
..of the Soul

I feel a lot of validation with Ayurveda.  It theorises all disease stems from the digestive system.  Who directs this drama towards disease?  The MIND.  Ayurveda is mind medicine.

To my crazy ass mind, (that would like to classify everything), a spiritual awakening is a series of signs from the Universe that cause me to not only see, not only feel, but to know that my path is to change course.  To acknowledge the truth.  To face fears.  To blindly step off a cliff trusting the wind will catch my wings.