Finding clarity

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that leading, teaching and mentoring is what I’d be doing or that energy would be my main tool.  In fact, I started on this path 2 years ago in Bali, and then I just stopped.  Everything got hard, I was confused over what I was doing, and it was easier to fall back into my old habits.  I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information I was getting and I didn’t know how to process it.  No clarity – plenty of connection – but completely ungrounded.  I was reminded of this by a wee conversation I had last night.  Life has become so busy and we’re constantly bombarded by information.  How do we sort the chaff from the wheat?

In the past there was a lot of fear attached to following my intuition.  Where did that fear come from?  A fear of seeing and being seen.  Of being on a stage and being critiqued by the masses.  A fear of success because of what I’d have to do to get there.  A fear of the unknown, of uncertainty and definitely of being labelled a quack-freak by some uneducated and inexperienced skeptics.

But I’m fast running out of excuses and fears.  This little chapter of my life has certainly reaffirmed that much.  Things become clear real quick when you’re watching someone you love dying in front of you.

The best advice I could give for identifying the next step to take, is to take time everyday to sit in stillness.   Ask a question, and wait for the answer.  Here are my top 3 tips for finding clarity:

  1. Be still – meditate
  2. Listen
  3. Practice self care – whatever that means for you

 

Reiki and me

Just for today,

Do not anger,

Do not worry, and

Be filled with gratitude,

Devote yourself to your work, and

Be kind to people.

There are always crucial points in any journey – transformational junctures, game changing situations and ‘aha’ moments.  Its only when we sit in stillness that we can distinguish the learning from those moments.

This last weekend was one of those – or should I say another one of those.  Because the last 4 weeks has been a cacophony of them – so much so that I’m starting to question who I am….or to be more precise – who I was.

Scott’s Mum has been diagnosed with terminal, inoperable, small cell carcinoma of the lung.  As with all small cell cancer of the lung, its aggressive.  

Because I’m intent on helping her as best I can, I asked for guidance on the tools I’d need to help me do that.  And Wallah! Up popped the Reiki 2 practitioner training.  

Its important for me to be very open and ask for what I need.  I’ve experienced the power of focussed attention and its wildly exciting.  If I’m in flow the abundance is non stop.  But there is a lot of refinement that can only be learned through experience and practice when it comes to receiving.  Clarity only comes with grounded relaxed energy.  Reiki gives me the tools to do that.

….so here I am back on the grief bandwagon..

My realisation of the next stage of grief I must experience is profound and wistfully beautiful.  I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to my man.  I didn’t get the chance to hold him, support him and tell him I love him as he took his last breath.  I didn’t get the chance and sometimes I have a deep resentment for being robbed of that opportunity.   So now I get the chance, through his mother, to do that.  And so much more.  Its a true gift of humility to hold space for anyone.  But to do that for someone I love as I celebrate their life..and as their physical body leaves this realm…words can’t describe how important this is to me.

So I’m packing up my Reiki hands and winging to Hervey Bay on Friday.  

I’m asking for universal support and guidance to be wrapped around me in a big insulating bubble to take with me.  I’m assured that this community will in turn be holding space for me over the next week.  Thats the cool thing about Reiki – I give AND I receive.