Mind Medicine

The emotions are considered the major internal causes of disease in TCM. (Traditional Chinese Medicine).  Emotional activity is seen as a normal, internal, physiological response to stimuli from the external environment. Within normal limits, emotions cause no disease or weakness in the body. However, when emotions become so powerful that they become uncontrollable and overwhelm or possess a person, then they can cause serious injury to the internal organs and open the door to disease. It is not the intensity as much as the prolonged duration or an extreme emotion, which causes damage. While Western physicians tend to stress the psychological aspects of psychosomatic ailments, the pathological damage to the internal organs is very real indeed and is of primary concern of the TCM practitioner

I sent this out to a few friends and family members recently:

People mainly think that health is eating healthy food..with some exercise…neglecting the emotional…Is this true?

The answers were wide and varied.  Some chose to focus on the food and ignore any mention of the emotional component.  This is interesting to me when I contextualise my last 18 months.

I wasn’t sick, run down or fatigued before this moment in time.  Sudden loss has all the symptoms of any other serious trauma – this is a fact.
Would you believe me when I tell you that this sudden loss was captured by my body at a cellular level?  ie my highly charged emotional state resulted in disease?  I’m not talking about just sadness and depression.   I’m talking about nervous and hormone systems and internal organs.

Would you believe me if I told you my kidneys represent my fear, my liver represents my anger and my lungs represent my sadness.

Would you believe me if I told you my fear around lack of security – the sense of survival – is causing my mudlahara, my root chakra, my foundation to wobble?

Would you believe that the chaos in my mind was reflected in my blood?

Would you believe me if I told you at a Soul level I invited all of this in, that my path towards SOMETHING is being formed through my experience?

If the mind can heal the body, but the body cannot heal the mind, then the mind must be stronger than the body. Every miracle demonstrates this

  ‘A course in miracles’

Alternative medicine is a bit hopeless at the serious end of disease.  Too little too late in most cases.  It is in fact a lifestyle choice..a preventative.  Determining the onset of serious illness requires listening skills.  The signs can be vague and commonly dismissed.

Of course we can identify the outcomes of common chronic disease by these familiar names – the epidemic of obesity, diabetes, IBS, leaky bowel and thyroid disorders.

But…what if ALL diseases started with a single thought?  What if acne was caused by unsupressed anger.  What if cancer was caused by 30 years of depression and hopelessness?  Would you believe me?

Is all disease preventable?

And  if it is,  where is the stick by which we measure perfect health and whose protocol do we use?  Or do we just suffer on alone searching for remedies and cures?

There is simply too much information in the unisphere (thats a new ponicornism 😉 to intellectualise everything and verify any blanket conclusion….or is there?

Before I go on…let me change gears for a bit…

In a separate conversation on Fear and Anger.  The question was:

Is all fear behind anger?  If so what are you afraid of?

My answer:

Anger is a feeling that is a provocation and an opportunity.  A chance to look inside and observe what person or situation stirred up a reaction in you.  It always comes back to the reaction in yourself and the awareness of the learning thats presented.  Anyone who angers you is your master and your mirror.

Fear is not a feeling.  Its of the mind, therefore an illusion.

But what of anger?  Anger is an emotion that is stored in the liver.  The liver is the bodies largest internal organ.  It is literally the core of chinese medicine and for good reason.  It filters out all the shit that gets poured into the body.  By shit I don’t just mean alcohol, drugs, sugar and processed food.  I mean emotions.

There is no doubt you can f*ck up your body by mistreating it using either method.  But its the mind stuff that interests me.

Take anxiety as an example.  It affects all of the Zang organs.
The spleen for obsessing and over thinking.
The lungs for grief, self esteem and the inability to let go.
The liver, anger, frustration and the inability to let go.
The kidneys fear and phobias.

Anxiety almost always leads to kidney deficiencies because its related to FEAR which is a water deficiency.   And yet anxiety affects multiple organs and in fact the whole body.

In my head I write protocols.  Every minute of everyday I think about a recipe for common chronic, sometimes terminal illness.  If I open my kitchen drawers I find 101 different remedies, supplements and potions.  Yes I’ve learned a lot.  But is it of any use.  Am I just wasting my time?

None of us can afford to spend $12 on chia seeds, but somehow we’ve had to resort to superfoods to keep us going and amp us up because our lives have ACCELERATED.  We are turbo charged, so we must turbo charge our energy.

But…let me take a minute…stop…look inward…change tack…FEEL my body…FEEL the wind on my skin…access the present moment with my breath…observe any contraction or tightness in my body…feel any anxiety in my abdomen…sense tight muscles in my head and neck…experience the swirling chaos in my forehead…unlock my chest, activate my diaphragm, BREATHE from my belly, filling it long and slow then exhaling the longest slowest breath that I’ve ever exhaled.

All of a sudden I feel energy in my feet and legs.  But the rest of me…those tough spots need to be twisted, squeezed and oxygenated out of the tissue.  ie exercise.

In the last 5 minutes I’ve literally diagnosed myself… through a very brief meditation.

1.  Movement required…cardio…yoga…qi gong..
2.  Abdomen tight and full…green juice…probiotics…twists and stretches to stimulate stomach meridians.
3.  Tight neck, crown, shoulders …anxiety, stress or worry…journel…ask the question? Whats causing this?  Look into the reason why… massage…breath

…is literally ‘listening’ to our body, deciphering its messages and taking action on them.

While food, exercise and lifestyle have an impact on health, I can confirm in my experience that exposing your body to long term ‘over thinking’ does not assist regeneration.  And if thoughts are negative in nature…doubt, insecurity, anger, sadness, this could just be the precursor to ALL chronic and serious illness.

Would you believe me if the frenetic pace at which our lives are lived has contributed to an epidemic?

Disease of the mind.

PS I should note that writing is creative and,  as long as it doesn’t require research, is therapeutic as it shifts paralysed thoughts.  Talking Helps, So Does Writing.
James Pennebaker found that the value of expressing deep feelings stemmed first from the willingness to confront the disturbing emotions. By confrontation, he means actively thinking and talking about the experiences and acknowledging the feelings they’ve stirred. Putting those feelings into words makes it easier to understand what has happened and eventually assimilate it into one’s life.




The bubble

The relationship bubble
My friend would tell me that her previous relationship was like a colouring in picture.  Her man embodied the black lines. He was the structure, the encasement, the boundary and the containment.  She was the colour.  With this fluid combination of structure and colour knitted together, the picture came to life.  Sometimes the lines are blurred.  Sometimes the colours seep through the silhouette, but still the picture became more than the sum of both of them individually.

And such is the sometimes tenuous link between the masculine and feminine, where a role is played by both.  The result should always be a union that has structure, colour, freedom and flexibility that allows something beautiful with a life of its own to emerge – 1+ 1 = 3.

But sometimes in our modern society, roles are stretched, pushed, changed and reversed.

Sometimes there is no black and white.  There is no colour.  There are only shades of grey…because the bubble bursts unexpectedly.

The village bubble

What is  the natural course of nature?

Our bodies yearn for a place that is innately part of our DNA.  To return home is the most empowering feeling, because its where we’re meant to be.

We are animals.  We are predators.
We are hunters.  We are gatherers.  We are procreators.  We are living representations of evolution.

But when did this circle of life become so complicated?  How and why did a project or a looming sales target become the catalyst for changes in body chemistry that used to be reserved for survival when faced with a life or death situation.

When did the mind become the saber tooth tiger?  When did the beast start to attack us?

When did we decide this beast could terrorise so many people in the village? Why couldn’t the village come up with a solution?

Where are the villages?

We find our villages at work, on facebook, at networking meetings and sales seminars.  Yes this is our community.  Yes we are surrounded by people.  Yes we are entertained.

But are we satisfied, at an intimate level or do we still feel alone?  Are we still isolated on our islands?  Drowning in fear.  Still afraid to face our grey?

At our most vulnerable, fragile and natural states, we crave connection.  Not words.  Not messages.  We crave deep understanding.  Touch.  Emotion.  We want to feel a place in our village where we can authentically embody this intimacy. .. to feel nurtured…included…wanted..needed…We want to be part of the picture.  We want to drift between every colour imaginable…knowing that to be this connected is a choice…to walk away or to move forward with purpose knowing the village is behind us resolutely holding ground.

Where is this mythical village?  Where are these mythical people?  Are they mythical like the saber tooth?  I live in this village.  Its a real place but it doesn’t feel REAL. It feels like a bubble.

The world does not feel like a bubble

A bubble can isolate, lift, separate or protect

FEAR.  All I know is if I take a step back, retreat into my bubble and look outside, I am scared of what the world has become.  I am scared of what it has moulded me into.  I’m scared of what its thrown at the people I love.  Did they invite it in?  Did I invite it in?  Did thousands and millions of people ask to suffer their way through life?

There are 1001 versions of Diease.  Cancer.  Depression.  Anxiety.  Stress.  Sadness.  Aloneness.  Despair.  Murder.  Abuse.  Suicide.  Hopelessness.  Hunger.

I want to know if everyone thinks this is a normal reality?  It shouldn’t be this complicated.

KISS Is your version of happiness and fulfilment the same as mine?  Do you question the insanity of life?  Do you yearn for simplicity and quiet?

I have a very serious question to ask.

How do I get the saber tooth out without popping my bubble?

Managing the healing crisis

For the past couple of months my body has been sore, achey, like I have the flu constantly.  I wrote a blog a few back on acidosis.  This focused on acidity in the bloodstream.  Yet this morning when I woke up I had the title for this blog swimming in my consciousness..not for the first time.

After 2 weeks of detox, including 2 hours of body treatments daily, yoga, meditation and blood purifying herbs and an easily digestable diet, my body has given up the aches.  My lymphs feel like they’ve drained..water retention has gone, tissue feels relaxed.  Even my neck is less stiff.  And I still have one more week to go.

Dispelling the toxins has allowed my mind to function with a little more clarity.

Why does the body succumb to disease?

From a physiological view, bacteria, fungus, virus or protozoa enter the system.  They attach to cells and multiply.  If the bodys natural defence systems can’t overcome the invasion, the body succumbs to disease.

When does the sickness become serious illness?

Serious illness does not happen overnight.  Its not like an accident where force or a Godlike event intervenes.  It takes time for acidity and toxicity to build up in the body.  It takes time for tissue, cells, blood and bone to become contaminated.

As soon as the system is unbalanced ie moving away from homeostasis, the body compensates in a million and one different ways to move back to its equilibrium.

Overwhelming disease occurs when the blood and lymphatic system are flooded, the immune system is shot and hasn’t enough soldiers standing to hold the frontline.  The endocrine system is confused and can’t produce the correct levels of hormones let alone secrete them.  Its like an orchestra without a conductor.  All because the conductor ie THE MIND cannot do its job with the disharmony created.  Every organ is playing its own tune and the melody is shattering.

Ayurveda protocol for serious disease

Rejuvenation to preserve life

Balance the doshas to strengthen the patient and weaken the disease

Panchakarma to purify the system

Removal of emotional cause of the condition when the patient is ready for it (theta healing)

Mopping up the mess

…So the body is out of balance?

…Then we add in MORE aliens ie medicine to fix it…(whether it be pharmaceutical or herbal)

The medicine does it job, but in the process of all the little micro organisms dying, toxic refuse and evacuated debris is stuck in suspension…

The body experiences the die off effect.

The die off prolongs feelings of illness. The body can’t rebalance itself enough to continue healing until its mess is ‘mopped up’

Some ways to do this :

Skin brushing and scrubbing.  Most toxins leave via the skin, usually resulting in outbreaks and a layer of scum.
Bentonite mud body pack (or bath).  Mix bentonite with water to make a mud.  Have fun applying.  Leave on for 15-30 minutes before showering.

Oil pulling.  An old practice of swishing coconut or olive oil in the mouth to remove toxins.

Massage specifically Lymphatic drainage.

Epsom salt baths – a handful of epsom salts, a couple tablespoons of baking soda and a few drops of essential oil.

Colonic hydrotherapy/enemas to empty the GI intestines of buildup, old and new.

Liver cleanse and flush.  Usually toxins ‘backflush’ to the liver which is already overloaded.  The liver also holds negative emotions.

Beneficial bacteria – Replace flora in the gut with probiotics.

Hydrate – lots of ginger tea, some room temperature lemon water.

Diet of whole/superfoods, lots of leafy greens.  Or in the case of rejuvenation programs, easily digested meals.

Detoxifying supplements – add a few to your food.  Eg Bentonite, zeolite, psyllium, linseed, aloe vera, wheatgrass, chlorella, spirulina, turmeric, moringa, noni.

Herbs and adaptagens
Hormone balancing – Maca, shatavari, dong quai, ashwaghanda, rhodiola.
Gut cleansers – oregano oil, diatomaceous earth, castor oil.
Blood purifiers – bitter herbs like dandelion, red clover, burdock, yellow dock, echinacea,
chaparral, goldenseal, mistletoe, sheep sorrell,  cats claw, bloodroot, cayenne (most of these have strong cancer killing qualities).  Pau d’arco.
Ayurvedic: Manjista, Neem, Bhumi-Amalaki, Guduchi, Kutki
Adaptagens – Maca, gingseng, rhodiola, ashwaghanda, chaga or reishi mushroom.
Antioxidants – olive leaf extract, glutathione, beta-carotene, vitamin C, A, E, zinc, selenium.

Ghee, activated charcoal to bind to toxins and help them leave the body

Sweating.  To open channels and help expel toxicity through the skin.

Yoga.  To connect the mind and body.  To stimulate energy flow.  To stimulate the lymphatic system.  To release emotions stuck in the body.

Meditation.  To still the mind allowing it to relinquish its hold on chaotic and confusing signals to the body.  To create space for healing.

Nourishing treatments – oil massage, facials and pampering to feed the Soul.

Rest and sleep – minimum of 6 hours of sleep a night.



The Inquiry into Freedom


I wonder all the time about the people in my life and why they’re there.  I didn’t really used to care much before.

I thought life was a competition and people were obstacles.

What would Byron Katie say about this?

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought? and

‘Turn it around’

When I go into ‘inquiry or the Work’ as Byron calls it I discover the following:

Life is a competition
Is it true No
How do you react when you think that thought? I feel like a failure
Who would you be without the thought? A success.  Relaxed.
Turn it around  I am in competition.  I am a failure

People are obstacles
Is it true No
How do you react when you think that thought?  Annoyed
Who would you be without the thought?  Less frustrated, patient. Present. At peace.
Turn it around  I am an obstacle

By observing my feelings and my judgements I’ve uncovered freedom.  My strongest emotions towards other people and situations are my truth.  My dark and ugly truth.  Every person tears back a putrid layer and exposes fetid flesh.

The question is, will I stare down my fear or will I turn my back?

Will I embrace myself, cherishing the dark and the light?

I wonder which mirror I should look into.  For no reason other than a fleeting amusement at this present moment.

Which mirror is for learning, teaching, sharing, journeying, loving, playing, friendship?

Which mirror is strong and resolute like a mountain?

Which mirror ebb’s and flows like the tide?

Which mirror will show up like poison and disappear in a storm?

We are all here to serve ourselves..

If I serve myself I serve everyone & everything.

IF I love myself, I have the opportunity to love everyone and everything.  This is freedom.

Love is freedom.  And THIS is the only answer to every question.

What does that mean for me today?
How will I nourish myself today?

I appreciated the fluid movement of a butterfly as she defied gravity and glided past my nose

I found beauty in my thoughts

I found calm in my body

I let go of yesterday

I surrendered to today

Wtf is a spiritual awakening?

..and can we call it something else?
And how does it apply to Ayurveda?

FULL MOON in Sagittarius is here calling us to see through the fog of illusion to pierce the truth within. There is lots of electric and creative energy stirring but we must meet it with grounded discernment. So let’s find some time to be still and just Be, as we allow the Light of the Full Moon to bring her illumination.

Mmmm…this is a subject I’ve been wanting to blog on for some time and this full moon has jockeyed me into position, putting me in the right place at the right time, calling for the right thing…illumination with discernment.

I haven’t come up with a less airy fairy term than spiritual awakening yet..but earlier in my blogging I came up with the acronym BVOM, because its a cutesy non-confrontational way to describe a concept thats not so palatable to everyone.  I wanted terminology that sounded a bit normal…that made ME sound a bit more normal…which is probably impossible because I’m really not very normal…

Best Version of Me refers to digging deep down through sludgy emotional layers to figure out what makes me tick..observing the light and the dark.  After the process of illumination, taking those lessons and integrating them into the matrix…you know..life on Earth…

I have changed.  My name is the same.  I look the same.  But the eyes that I view the world through have been altered permanently.  I feel different.

Yes I’ve been on and am still in a grieving cycle.  But this trauma was a catalyst for a change in direction that I could not have anticipated.

On my deepest meditation at a sound healing here in Ubud, I sank into that place where I felt, heard and observed that I was nothing….And I was everything.

This is the concept of Namaste.


I wasn’t drunk.  But I was high.  Not on drugs…on freedom.

It’s the most magical, mystical feeling to be flying around in meditation space experiencing the connection, the power, love and the infiniteness and the oneness of the Universe.

“I honor the place in you where Spirit lives
I honor the place in you which is
of Love, of Truth, of Light, of Peace,
when you are in that place in you,
and I am in that place in me,
then we are One.”

While I adore food, nutrition and alternative medicine, I have a strong pull to the metaphysical..the stars..the mysteries and the synchroncities.

…And chocolate..I also have a strong pull to chocolate mousse cake..but that could possibly be the candida talking.

Ayurveda means the science of or knowledge of life.  How perfectly has my writing and my path led me to this ancient art of mind, body, spirit?

From enemas to candida, depression to love…ayurveda packages them all up in a chaotic bundle and simply asks me to do 1 thing – to know myself better.  To take the knowledge and apply it to a way of life.  To become the BVOM.

What happens if I don’t?

..of the body
..of the mind
..of the Soul

I feel a lot of validation with Ayurveda.  It theorises all disease stems from the digestive system.  Who directs this drama towards disease?  The MIND.  Ayurveda is mind medicine.

To my crazy ass mind, (that would like to classify everything), a spiritual awakening is a series of signs from the Universe that cause me to not only see, not only feel, but to know that my path is to change course.  To acknowledge the truth.  To face fears.  To blindly step off a cliff trusting the wind will catch my wings.

Theta healing

What is Theta healing?
An energy healing modality to clear limiting beliefs and programs in the mind and body using techniques like muscle testing and body talking to change the environment of the subconscious mind.  Similar in practice to kinesiology, NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and TCM (Transforming Cellular Memory).


You are confused.

Thats what Dr S told me today after I told her what I wanted to work on in my Theta healing session.  No kidding.  You should try being me for a day.

I’ve had a couple of theta healing sessions before and they were both powerful.  So much so I signed up for the teacher training but it fell through.  Now I kind of regret not doing it.

You are out of balance.

There are 3 constitutions or doshas.  Vata, Pitta and Kapha.

Vata (air and space)
Principal kinetic energy governs mainly the nervous system and controls all body movement.

Kapha (water and earth)
Principal of potential energy governs mainly body stability and fluids.

Pitta (fire and water)
Principal is enzymatic and endocrine systems.  Controls kinetic and potential energy.  All pittas processes involve digestion of some description..even of thoughts or ideas.

My constitution in ayurvedic terms is Pitta/Vata.  Ones dosha does not change.

Pitta/Vata’s generally have poor circulation.  Also, the Pitta side loves to eat while the Vata influence ensures trouble digesting large meals.  When PV’s are unbalanced, fear and anger will alternate as reactions to stress.  The Pitta in me loves to command while the Vata creates self doubt around the ability to command.  Pitta/Vata’s mainly need stability.

If Ayurveda were a religion Nature would be its goddess, and overindulgence the sole sin She would punish.  – Prakriti by Dr RE Svoboda

My diagnosis (prakriti) is:

Which basically means I’m flighty, fat and the opposite of on fire….a wet blanket maybe.  The Vata imbalance is dominant.  This is the change my mind, can’t make plans, can’t finish projects, can’t sit still side of me.  Neurotic.  Ditsy.  Sometimes this is fun…sometimes not…

You lost your passion for life after your husband died

Fk!  No pity parties here.  Just tell it to me straight.
Yes.  Its true.

Where is your fire?

After clearing my food addictions and my lack of purpose, Dr S got started on the big one.  Untying my concept of happiness…the one tied to my husband..the guilt, the inability to step out of my shadow and leap into a new life.  The option to love someone else.  The necessity of loving myself.  The freedom of creating present point awareness…the inner child…blank canvas…life in colour…

There was truth.  There were tears.  Beaten and exposed I rolled off the table, and retreated to my room for 2 hours to integrate.

I emerged tired but shiny..a spark rekindled…