How to love a girl that writes

Much has been made of dating a girl who reads, but what of the other side of that coin?

For a girl who writes is a double-threat: she is well read, yet creates worlds of her own as well. If you find a girl who writes—find her charming, wish to court her—there are a few things you should know.

Be prepared for her to leave you.

Not for long, but there will be those moments where she’s mumbling and she gets that look in her eyes and you know you’ve lost her. An idea, a character, a song has caught hold and she must capture it; she’ll be back. Even better, she’ll come back and tell you all about it.

If you love a girl who writes, please be patient. She can walk into the library and remember exactly which shelf Neil Gaiman is tucked away on, but more often than not, she can’t find her shoes. She knows 40 different words for rain across seven different languages, but she won’t always remember to buy more milk. She’ll have a list going, but it may become cluttered with ideas and random phrases, with future book titles and character names.

Sometimes she will be late because she pulled over to jot something down in her Moleskine or had to re-write something just one more time. You’ll be glad for her attention to detail as time goes on, I promise.

Tell her, gently, when her pen chewing has left a little ink beside her mouth, and make her go outside when she’s furrowing her brow after an unsuccessful wrestling match with words. Remind her that though she loves them, there is a whole world beyond to revel in, to re-fuel and return to them restored. (Embrace her love of alliteration; it makes her happy, even if it seems a bit silly at times.)

She will not always tell you how she feels out loud.

And even if she does, trust to the fact that she’s rolled it around in her brain (and possibly her journal) for quite some time before she comes out with it. Her words are her tools, her armor. She’s best with them when she can shift and spin them on the page. In her throat, sometimes they get caught and fall out all at once—or worse—slide back down and vanish until they flow through her fingers into her next story.

She will send you a song, a sonnet or start a philosophical argument with you. It’s her way of flirting with you. It’s like the writer girl combination of a hair toss and licking her lips. Play along.

Inevitably, you will show up in her pages (hopefully when she isn’t angry with you). If you love a writer, you will be immortal. She will capture you for all time as she remembers you walking with snowflakes gently falling in your hair, or the way you looked at her right before the last time you kissed. She’ll use a turn of phrase—or an inside joke—to include you in her work.

Brush up on your Shakespeare and, please, have your own opinions. Though she’s tickled when they match her own, she’ll love the parry and thrust of a good debate. And if you want to win her heart for good, know your way around a semi-colon.

I’ll let you in on a secret: she likes her alone time.

As much as she loves you, she won’t mind when you head out adventuring on your own, so long as you return and tell her stories before she falls asleep. She loves having time to get lost in her world of words, and sometimes forgets to stop to eat, or shower or spend time with people. The world on the page is as real and important to her as the “real” world. So if she bursts into tears over her cup of Genmaicha, don’t take it personally. She finally realized how to end her story and is going to miss her characters terribly.

If you want to give her a gift, think metaphor—not cliche. Skip the roses and give her daisies. Better yet, send her some of her favorite tea or a book that made you think of her. Give her bits of stardust and remind her that life is much more than just words on a page. Remind her that some of the best stories are collaborations. Write her letters and she’ll keep them forever. Write her a sonnet and she’ll keep you as well.

If you find a girl who writes, sift through all of her scraps of paper, half-filled journals and half-drunk cups of tea and take her by the hand. Gently ask her to set aside her laptop and return to the land of the living—for at least an hour or two—to dance and play.

(After all, that’s where all the best stories come from in the first place.)

But perhaps most importantly of all, if you love a girl who writes, read.

Like elephant literary journal on Facebook.

Reference
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/04/how-to-date-a-girl-who-writes/

The 4 agreements to Heaven

A lesson in being authentic

432008_10150708188152573_1936509192_n

I’m lying in my bed in a hostel in Brisbane, doing 1001 things at once.  I haven’t been outside yet.  I’m about as happy as a pig in sh#t.  Why?  Because this is what I love to do the most.  Geeking out, writing, chatting with friends, researching, reading, eating.  I get bored doing one thing.  I’m a multi tasker.  At the moment I have two browsers open with 17 tabs live.  I rarely finish a project.  I’m enthralled and excited about my latest idea and require co-dependants in order to moderate me and help me turn my dreams into reality.

My bed is a pigsty.  It’s covered in food, underwear and books.  But I’m happy…..in Poniworld, dreaming about my next adventure…

Messy office

The question I’m posing to myself today is, “Do I really love yoga, or do I just love the way it makes me feel”. And can I get that feeling somewhere else?  The answer is Yes, I LOVE yoga – but I resent having to leave Poniworld to go do yoga.  I had to pose the question to myself, because sometimes, I just don’t know the question to ANYTHING until I start writing…..because I’m such a procrastinator and because from time to time my arrogance gets the better of me.  I know I’ll love yoga when I get there, but getting myself out the door is such a chore.  Yoga really helps me to relax and breathe. And breathing is definitely one of my more (challenging but) favourite things to do.

Whats stopping me?

We all know that we should have 5 servings of vegetables a day, but its such a damn pain in the ass, because what we really want is the big fat calorie laden cheesecake.  In my experience, 1 piece is never enough.  I want 3 pieces.

Even though we know we’re going to feel disgusting tomorrow, even though we really want to get rid of that muffin top, we still want to eat the whole cheesecake.

I know that if I head out the door to the park thats just across the road, that I’ll immediately feel grounded, peaceful and at home….and yet I’ve convinced myself that geeking out is the best thing for me today. I’ve convinced myself that my optimal day involves playing and eating junk food ALL day…  Because its a lot bloody easier than making a little effort for a greater good!  Actually my general rule is ..there’s nothing wrong with doing that.. but not everyday, not for a lifetime.

Peer pressure

Actually today, I’m ok with vegetating because I did a lot of exercise yesterday. I’m also ok with existing in amongst a huge mess, lying on 1/5 of the bed because the rest of its covered in ….EVERYTHING.  And I’m ok with not having to talk or socialise with a single soul because I do lots of that usually.  I do a lot.  My problem is that I find it difficult to take time to relax and slow down.

….I don’t usually give myself permission to rest.  Why?  Because I feel pressured by the people I’m surrounded by, to behave in a certain way.  Because I feel like I’ve wasted time.  When I’m honest with myself, my fear is of being AUTHENTIC.  Being authentic means being seen.  Being seen means I have an audience.  Having an audience installs fear in me.  I cannot succeed if I have a fear of success.

Everything is my own perception.  My pressure is created by me from an outdated, irrelevant, learned desire to please everyone but myself.  This state does not serve me……so its out, along with anything else that no longer serves me.

……Poniworld is my natural state.  This is authentic me. I’m really messy.  I swear a lot.  I consistently see-saw between looking hot and looking like shit.  I don’t really care if I don’t get time to brush my hair in the morning and I most certainly don’t hesitate to give anyone my opinion…I mean, I naturally assume that people want to be well physically and emotionally.  That I’ve destroyed their comfortable world in a few words pointing out a few home truths does not compute with me…until its too late

Ohhhh did I mention that I’m going through my angry grieving stage.  This in the past has presented as Tourettes-like symptoms when I’m frustrated and mad.  I would also stamp my feet, throw tantrums and generally behave very badly when I didn’t get my own way.

Those of you that know me…I mean really know me….know that I only have good intentions.  That I’m kind, generous, compassionate and live to serve.  I’m loyal and I’d drop everything to help if only you’d ask.  You love me unconditionally for those attributes and forgive me my faults, just as I would do the same for you.

Timing is everything.  Some relationships, whatever they’re labelled as, are meant to be, but maybe they’re not meant to be right now.  Surrendering to that can be difficult, but ultimately empowering.   Walking away will feel wrong, but will ultimately be for the highest good.

Those of you that don’t know, or accept me, you’ll naturally just leave my life.  It’s kind of sad, but its for the best.

The Why.   Explaining the concept of The Compelling reason

If you’ve ever been sick, if you’ve ever experienced grief or trauma, you’ll understand what I’m talking about.  Change comes about because theres a big enough reason for it to become a priority in life.  Small details fade into insignificance.  All of a sudden, after I lost Scotty, I found crowds suffocating.  I needed more alone time.  I needed to check in with myself.  I couldn’t abide small talk and being around low energy people.   Whereas before, I’d steer away from conflict situations, now I launch myself AT them, both feet first….war paint on, ready to go into battle.  Ready to defend myself and the people that I love the most.

But this isn’t craziness.  This is me.  The real me.  And the readers out there that have been with me from the start, they might recognise this as my journey to self, the journey towards the BVOM (Best Version of Me). It’s a concept that I introduced last year – which seems like forever ago.  And its kind of my trademark.  You see, I can apologise forever and a day for pissing people off….and I should if its broken any of the tenets that I’ve set for myself.  However….I should never have to apologise for being myself!  And if you do have someone in your life that makes you feel like that, I fully recommend that you quietly, respectfully and lovingly exit stage door left.  Its not worth your sanity.

Integrating myself (ego) with myself (soul)

I thought they were separate, but they’re not.

I’ve spent the last 15 months discovering.  And now I’ve moved into a phase where I’m very sure of myself.  I’m very sure of what I want and what I don’t want.  I know where I want to go and what I want to achieve.  I know the kind of people that I want around me and I know the people that I don’t.

I think that we all like to have a method to our madness.  For me, in my past life, my method was to be systemised.  I lived by my to do list.  (Not that I ever completed my to do list, I just liked to carry it around for comfort).

Yes, I still like my digital gadgets and my lists, but I don’t live by them anymore.  I want FREEDOM.    I manifest what I want by focussing on what I want.  I choose to surround myself with the energy that I want in the place that I want.  At the moment, that place is Bali.

I want to live by the 4 tenets that Michael introduced to me for the first time last year.  My gorgeous friend, the tempestuous fire dragon MysticSista, Marian, bought them to my attention again recently.

The Four Agreements to Heaven

Be Impeccable with your word

Don’t take anything personally

Don’t make assumptions

Always do your Best

Solution

If you’d like to join me on the path of authenticity, but you don’t know how, here’s a little inspiration.  It’s 7 minutes of YOU time.  Close your eyes and listen to the words of Don Miguel and find your way towards a little Heaven on earth.

References:

10 things you should never apologise for EVER!

The Four agreements

Top 20 tips for Ultimate Mind, Body & Soul health

The body appears to be largely self-motivated and independent, yet it actually responds only to the intentions of the mind. If the mind wants to use it for attack in any form, it becomes prey to sickness, age and decay.

-A course in miracles

“All dis-ease can be reversed by simply reversing mental patterns.”  This is a quote from Louise Hays book, Heal your body, which I used to cure (alongside many other holistic therapies) my liver condition.  I also use it to help counsel other people to find the stored emotion behind their ongoing health issues.   It works!  I have people who can provide testimony to this!

Heritage: In all cases, be mindful of your heritage in terms of what works for you.  For example a mixture of Western and Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) Qi gong and Chinese medicine works really well for me because I’m half Chinese, half European…though 100% Kiwi! !

Origin  Also be mindful of the country you live in or that you grew up in.   For example I grew up in small town New Zealand with clean air, water and access to mountains and nature.  It was quiet, not busy.  So naturally it makes sense that I’m drawn to live in a small community where everybody knows your name.   Your body will take time to adapt to new foods and environments..or..it might not adapt at all..in which case you should consider moving to the place you feel at home.

As always, use your intuition on what you need.   If you need help ‘seeing yourself’, then simply ask a friend or family member!  We see each other better than we see ourselves!  But make sure to ask someone whose opinion you respect,  They don’t need to be knowledgeable on the subject. But they should know you well.  If that fails..ring in the experts and pay for good advice!

Here are my top 20 tips for Ultimate Mind, Body & Soul health:

1.  Earth.  Ground yourself.  Commune with nature.  Everyday…for as long as you can.  Hiking up a mountain is my favourite.  However I get tremendous healing energy from connecting with trees.  Simply sit or stand with your back and head against a tree.  If you can, place your hands on the roots of the tree or the trunk also.  Breathe in its goodness (oxygen).  Breathe out your toxins (carbon dioxide).  I feel this in my body wherever it needs it most.  Supplement: Earthing sheet

2.  Fire.  Follow the sun.  Get 15 minutes of sunshine on your forearms daily.  To reset your circadian rhythm, eyeball the sunrise and sunset.
Supplement:  Vitamin D3
Treatment: Ultra Violet light

3.  Wind.  Breathe.  Breathe from your diaphragm.  Breathe in fully expanding your diaphragm outwards.  Keep sucking in oxygen until you can’t.  Then breathe out.  Breathe out fully, blowing out until theres no air left in your lungs.  Most people don’t breathe out long enough.  Download an app that can help you if this is challenging.  I find Kundalini yoga is amazing.
Supplement: Oxy powder
Treatment: Ozone treatment.

4.  Rain.  Water.  Hydrate yourself.  The rule is..”Drink until your pee is pale”Add the juice of 1/2 lemon or 1 T of Apple Cider Vinegar to 600ml of water.  If you drink loads of water and pee a lot but your thirst isn’t quenched,  drink alkalized water OR add a pinch of himalayan salts to your water OR take a mouthful of seawater!
Supplement: hydrating salts (no sugar, from pharmacy)
Treatment: Colonic Irrigation.  Swimming in fresh or salt water.

5.  Movement.  Whatever floats your boat.  For me, I operate best on: Light cardio to get my  heartrate up first thing in the morning. Hiking, Yoga, Qi gong. Anything that gets me focussed on the task at hand..circulation!
Treatment:   Bodywork. Remedial or Sports massage.  Ortho-bionomy alignment.

6.  Eliminate effectively.  Poo! You should be doing No.2’s at least daily.  It should be a mid brown colour, shaped like a long smooth, continuous sausage.  The best way to poo is to squat like the Chinese do. If you don’t feel safe sitting on your toilet seat, use a stool to raise your feet up.  This puts all your bits in the right alignment for perfect elimination without stressing your body.
Supplement:  Digestive enzymes with every meal or Apple Cider Vinegar before/after meals.  Coffee enema.  Or any kind of enema that you body asks for.  As examples I’ve done garlic, chlorella, green juice.
Treatment: Colonic Irrigation.  Lymphatic drainage massage.

7.  Mind: Be mindful of your thoughts.  Affirm.

8.  Soul: Have fun.  Lighten up.

9.  Soul: Be creative.  Dance, Sing, draw, writeListen to Soulful music – that’s the music that makes your heart sing!  However be mindful of the lyrics and any subliminal messaging that your mind might be taking too literally.

10.  Soul: Follow your intuition.  Follow the breadcrumbs.  Be on your path.

11. Build your Community, your tribe….a great support network of positive light filled people. Visit regularly for open, frank yet inspiring discussion….and FUN & LAUGHTER!!
Mind:  Journelling, blogging.  Eliminate all narcissists and people that no longer serve you from your life.  Limit time with low/bad energy people.

12.  Soul: Keep the faith.  Continue to have hope.  Trust the process.  Know that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

13.  Take ACTION!  Don’t give up until the end.  Be strong. Be resilient.
Body: JUST DO IT!

14.  Love yourself. Put yourself first.  Express gratitude to your body for getting you this far.
Mind: Be mindful of Self talk
Body: Affirmations.  Express gratitude.  Think/speak positively.

15.  Soul: Love everyone unconditionally. Resist blame. Resist unkindness. 

16.  Meditate. 
Mind/Body/Soul: Sound healing.  Vipassana.  Sensory Deprivation eg. Sitting in the forrest at night, listening only to the sounds of nature (without your iphone!!)

17.  Energy healing.
Soul/Body:  Reiki.  Babies and animals.  They’re pure and open with powerful energy.

18.  Expertise.  Surround yourself with the best experts.  People who are on your page…that you trust impicitly.
Mind:  ‘How to heal your body’ by Louise L Hay.  This book is my bible.  It aligns your physically manifested dis-ease with the emotion that created it.

19.  Soul: Know that you are Devine, created by a powerful Universal force, connected consciously with everything around you.  You are a perfect creation of God.

20.  Throw the rule books out. You are unique. Your family is unique.  Your situation is unique. You require a unique solution

image001

Lovina Love

expressyourtrue2cauthentic0adevineself0adonotblinkdonotwaver0aexpressyourselfkindlyandgently0awithlo-default

    

I found this blog in my drafts.  I wrote it while I was in Lovina, Bali in October last year.  I was in such a good space, having just done my third retreat in 3 months.  The beach or any place in nature is a place where I can truly access heartspace.  The quote is something I wrote at a retreat in Taupo.  It still resonates with me.

October 2014 ……So anyway I can confirm that the best way to write a blog is after 2 hours of deep tissue massage and reflexology,  while getting a pedicure (but before deep cleansing clay mask)…Getting up at 2am to climb a volcano to see a spectacular surprise is also acceptable inspiration.

This is my third full day in Lovina and I feel like I’ve been here forever.  I’ve taken to a dreamy schedule of walks on the beach, yoga, meditation, swimming and blogging.  Every evening I meet Putu my fruit lady and Evi on the beach at 5.30pm. Putu peels mangos and opens the young coconut that she scoured the market looking for for me that afternoon.  We watch the sunset with the gathering crowd of locals and tourists, and talk about how much fruit Putu sold that day. Our feet in the sand, the last vestiges of the sun drifting away and children playing in the water.

Mostly everyone here is called Putu, Made, or Wayan.  This makes things very challenging in my contacts list:

Made the photographer

Made the driver

Putu the fruit lady

Putu the manager of the villas

However, you can be sure there’s a 1 in 3 chance of getting their name correct!

Made the Photographer  You know the story of Made the photographer who invited me to the Balinese wedding?  I visited his shop.   He invited me in.  He’d bought a bag full of mangos for me, which he expertly cut up for us to share lunch.  I expressed my disappointment to Made that while all the coconut trees were chocka with nuts, noone was selling young coconuts anywhere…so off we went on a little adventure to a little village to find me my coconut…such is the way things are done in Lovina.

Evi the midwife  I first met Evi when I was haggling with Putu for my mangosteens.  The second night she bought me some amazing Balinese snacks to try.  Then we went for a little adventure on her scooter to a Warung (local outside eatery)  for dinner with locals.  $2.50 for 2 of us – including iced tea – ka-ching!  As we were saying goodbye she exclaimed that she loved me like her sister.  Also she wondered if I’d like to marry her brother – he’s a good man after all!!????????

Made the driver  After the hike, we dropped some friends to Amed and it was just myself and Made the driver, who was dropping me back to Lovina.  The conversation went something like this:

M-There was no talking at 2am when I pick you up

K – No, we were very sleepy

M– Because they were in the back

K – (puzzled..wheres this going??)

M – You are not tourist

K – what do you mean?

M – You are too skinny and brown. Tourists are fat and white. This hard to say, but think you are very beautiful.  You are normal. I am normal. I not have girlfriend.  I think I love you.  We can get married. Tomorrow you meet parents. You teach yoga from my house.

K – (stop the bus.  Whaaat???!!!)  Ahhhhh  ummm…….beautiful weather today…how about that view??

Sending you some Lovina magic!

Ponicorn x

Follow the sun..have fun…laugh…

gracie and kirsty up a tree

Sunrise at St Georges

Things seem stationary right now. The secret is not to push things; just let them happen. Later in the day, spend a little quiet time reflecting. You could be tempted to throw away some plans you had made in the hope of finding something better. Stick with it a little longer as there is some merit to the work you have already done.

The above is my horoscope for today.  Oh how life has changed!

I used to be a spreadsheet queen.  I was a planner.  A banker.

Now I prefer flexibility.  I prefer to be surprised about how my day will end.  I want to laugh, have fun, be grateful for every moment…and I want to know what my horoscope tells me about the day ahead…

I prefer to get up and watch the sunrise from a tree.  I prefer mornings like today when I can while away 2 hours in an Epsom salt bath relaxing and catching up with friends,  dreaming about my next adventure.

I feel like I need to reintroduce myself.  Hi everyone, my name is Kirsty.  Poni is the nickname my late hubby gave me.  I was appointed a Poni when Scotty came home one day to find me galloping around the lounge with my young nieces to the soundtrack of ‘My little Poni‘ – the movie.

Through my blog I’ve adopted the moniker Ponicorn.  Ponicorn is a hybrid of the person that I was and the person I’m becoming.  If you’re unsure what you should call me, I prefer Poni or Ponicorn because they’re fun and easy!

PLUS I’ve become just a little addicted to numerology, and Poni really resonates with me.  Check out this link to find out what your number and reading say for you!

ponicorn

20150106_101239

This is a summary of me to date:

Husband dies suddenly.  Crisis of identity.  Quit job.  Depression.  Decision to live.  Fasting retreat.  Hope.  Inspiration.  Rediscovery of self.  Bali.  Spiritual journey.  Chaos.  Discension.  Confusion.   Home?  Family.  Friends?  Isolation.  Mending bridges.  A Calling.  Wanderlust.  Journey to Truth…………

“I don’t know if you know who you are until you lose who you are”

-Taylor Swift

Be prepared to laugh..at yourself…

Last night I had a very funny conversation with my friend Julia.  We discovered that I have Spock-like tendencies.  That is, I get so caught up in the academia and purpose of what I’m doing, that I forget to laugh at myself.  Sometimes I just forget to live my life!  ……..So the nicknames, the tree climbing, the sunrises and the toys…they’re all to remind me to have fun, to lighten up, to feel rather than think.

PS – if you’re a Star trek geek like me and want to know what Star Trek crew member you’re most like, click here!

Find inspiration in the little things…

When I stayed in Bondi recently, my meanderings bought me to Byron at the Travel Cafe who introduced me to the BSBE (Best Sprouted Bread Eva).  Funnily enough he served it with avocado mash, which has turned out to be a staple meal for me in Aussie, where the avo’s are so cheap!  Click on the link to get the recipe for simple Avo Mash!

Avo mashup

He also introduced me to this song.  Follow the sun…..which chills me out and reminds me to turn off my devices and get out into nature.

Wishing you the BDE!!!!

Reference websites/articles

Astrology

Numerology

Which Star Trek crew member are you?

How to grow an Avocado tree

BDE – Best Day Eva – a David Wolfe saying