The 7 stages of grief

The seven emotional stages of grief are usually understood to be shock or disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and acceptance/hope. Symptoms of grief can be emotional, physical, social, or religious in nature.

One day, after 3 years of tough times, when Scott was at his lowest and I didn’t know what else to do, Luger came into our lives.  An 8 week old ball of fluff and cuteness.  A doberman puppy.  He was for Scott.  But I loved that puppy.  And I didn’t expect to love him.  He was the runt of the litter, and when I saw him fall asleep standing up, isolated from the other puppies, I just had to have him.

LUGER DEC 2008 012Kirsty and her boyslast day with the dogs 027

Luger was different.  He thought he was a person.  Because he was treated as a person.  He got away with everything.  He’d eat anything.  My underwear, socks, whole tubs of butter.  He’d take wallets into the paddock and run through the long grass, scattering cards and notes.

Sleeping on the ground was not for him.  He’d jump and scratch his way up any car door to get inside to a plush comfortable seat.  When he got the ok to hop onto our bed, he’d burrow his way under the blankets until he was right at the end, curled up happily between our feet.

He was so naughty, because we let him be naughty…because he was adorable and we were so in love with him.

When we settled in for a long winters night, with the fire going, Luger would jump on the couch, buried in cushions.  Puppyworld.  Its an amazing place to live.

Scott loved Luger, and Luger loved Scott.  They had a special bond.

We both cried when we had to leave both our puppies behind to go to Hong Kong.  It felt so wrong to leave our babies behind.

 

Luger died on the 30th November 2014.  A year to the day of Scott’s funeral.  I like to think that Scott called him home.  That’s the only thing that makes me ok with him dying.

I only found out he died a few days ago.  I tried to dismiss his death, but I can’t, because this has truly been the worst 14 months of my life.

I’m only human.   And Scott and Luger, they were my family.  I loved that puppy.  And I’m so sad that hes gone.

Shock

I see fire

Depression

Breakeven

Denial

Beneath your beautiful

Bargaining

One more night

Guilt

We are done

Acceptance

Let it be

Hope

Every time you cry

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6 comments

  1. drummondvintage · January 31, 2015

    Oh my dearest Kirsty I started reading your blog with joy at seeing images of Scott and Luger. I didn’t expect this ending!
    I pondered for a moment and this came to mind:
    “We are only given the lessons in life that we have the capacity to learn”.
    Having met you I see your soul strength. There is reason in this, in your being dealt a strong card. Perhaps not yet apparent. But you are on a fast track learning curve, and have obviously been deemed ready for the next level.
    Well, I guess that’s the way I look at things.
    Love you hun, and thank you for sharing these beautiful images xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kirsty Healey · January 31, 2015

      You’re a constant source of inspiration my Soul sister! And yes you’re so right. And actually this is a little hard to understand. .but I asked for my lessons the hard way. .do this is what I got. .I asked to feel..and because it’s so hard for me..the Universe in its wisdom. .and because I’m so impatient gives me everything in Castor oil format. Its nasty..but its effective. Miss you xx

      Like

  2. ps2julz · January 31, 2015

    Hi Kirst, beautiful family pics, you will treasure them always. I am so sorry to hear about Luger, you have been to hell and back dear friend. It’s wonderful that you deal with everything in such a positive, strong way, but if you feel like cursing like a sailor, screaming like a banshee, whining like a baby or collapsing at any stage you make sure you do. Big hugs xxoo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kirsty Healey · January 31, 2015

      Jules..when I reach Anger stage, you and Red are the first people I’m calling..hope noone I dislike is close when that happens!! xx

      Like

  3. mariaadlam · January 31, 2015

    SLES!!!! 😦
    Once that subsided…I was able to manage a wee smile…just imagine the havoc those two are causing up there!! I can hear Scotty’s voice bellowing out LUGER..and Luger running away after ‘acquiring’ some random object that he has taken a fancy too! 😉
    So incredibly hard for you but yet so incredibly right that they are together again.
    Kia kaha special lady.
    Love you xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kirsty Healey · January 31, 2015

      Yes lots of SLES..not many people understand that concept as well as the 2 of us …private grievers that we are! Yes they’re meant to be together. .that much is true…just like Scotty and I..you can’t break that kind of bond..its made it so much stronger. But I have to remember that I belong on Mother Earth and embrace it..even though its hard sometimes. Love you Ma xx

      Like

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