The journey to love is a tricky one.
Most of us are searching for our soul mate – that one true love that can fulfil that part of us that yearns to be held, to be loved unconditionally. So we’re never alone.
Sometimes that journey can become desperate. We grasp at straws, because we’re impatient to make it happen. In the course of grasping, we become dislocated from ourselves…..we forget our truth. We forget the essence of being. We forget to live.
What happened to that child that ran barefoot on the grass and swam for hours until her fingers and toes were wrinkly. When and where were we taught that there was no place for fun and silliness and dancing? Who taught us that we had to grow up and face responsibilities?
I didn’t know much about love when I met my late husband. I wasn’t taught how to do the love thing when I grew up. I was taught to function, to survive. I’m forever grateful to the powers that be for bringing Scotty to me. How lucky was I, in my lifetime, to have met someone who could teach me how to give and receive love so unconditionally, so beautifully? Not everyone is this lucky.
But then he was taken from me, suddenly, traumatically. The darkest day of my life.
It wasn’t until much later in my journey, I realised I’d made a series of critical mistakes….All of these added up to one awful truth…
…..I’d relied on him to give me unconditional love. Instead of generating my own, I’d survived on what he gave me.
My world had been shattered because he was gone. No love. No light. I felt alone. I couldn’t see a future.
Little did I know that I was on two very separate journeys. I had not just lost him. I had lost myself. I grieved him until the 20th August 2014. I grieved for 9 months. On the 20th August, that stopped. It stopped when I decided to take my life back into my own hands. When I decided to love myself. To respect myself. To heal myself.
And I thought that I was ok…….But I wasn’t…..I wasn’t ok…..
Instead, the bigger journey began. The journey of rebuilding myself. Grieving for lost years. Grieving for lost opportunities. Grieving for something that I’ve understood all this time, but didn’t want to accept – that I was a shadow of that lost child……..I didn’t love myself. I didn’t know myself. I had killed myself off…a long time before he passed away. And now I had to deal with the fact that I didn’t have anything. I was some shell of a person that i didn’t recognise …or like.
The truth will set you free
And now I’m at the pinnacle of my journey of self realisation. I know myself. I acknowledge myself. And I’m ok with it. I forgive my past. My life starts today. i know that empowerment can only be generated from knowing yourself…the good, the bad..the ugly. Facing the truth and being ok with it.
I can only say thank you to my audience – to my loyal followers for being my sounding board on this journey..for being the community that has inspired me to continue on through rough times, to find the truth.
A big thank you to my special healing crew – Michael and Ma for being my lighthouse in stormy seas.
And now I’m ready to share with you, all of my secrets, to create safe haven for you to journey there too. I invite you to join my community…on the path to self love and ultimately…more happiness than you can imagine.
You’ll have to be brave. There will be tears. There will be anguish. Sometimes you’ll lose hope.
But I’m here for you, to light the way. My gift to you today, is to tell you a little secret. Your twin flame, that ultimate soul mate, is waiting for you. When you’ve conquered your darkest fears. When you’ve unlocked your heart. They will appear. I promise. But if you thought that finding this mystical other half of yourself was the pinnacle…..you would be so wrong. Because the one true love, that you can’t do without, is YOU!
Fall in love with yourself and you’ll never be alone.
Namaste – We are all one.
Much love from the Ponicorn xxx
Be inspired by this very special song, that was gifted to me…that I’m now gifting to all of you. I send this song out with an intention that everyone in the world that is searching for themselves, their true love, feels acknowledged by me today, that they receive my unconditional love and acceptance, that they’re inspired by Daylight to take the next step in their journey.