Ohhh, 2 blogs in one day. The last didn’t count because I copied and pasted my speech. But this one is proper new material…its bloody long….but I like it….try not to fall asleep…
A few days ago I felt alone. I don’t usually feel alone.
I’m so busy being busy. I don’t have time for such silly emotions as being alone. I looked into this left field feeling and this is what came up.
I give. I serve. I fix. I heal. I counsel. I educate. I accept. I love.
But when I’m put into a situation when I can’t carry out the above, I feel alone. When I’m not equipped to independently resolve problems and I need someone to help me, and no-one is available, I feel alone.
But its actually not loneliness I’m feeling. In fact, what I’m actually experiencing is inadequacy. Lets go a little deeper with this……
If someone asks me for help, I give unconditionally and generously, without question. My time is their time. So when I don’t get that in return, I feel alone. No reciprocity. And why do I feel this lack of reciprocity? Because in this new age, we are simply not programmed to love, accept and give unconditionally. We are taught to hold on tight to our possessions. We are taught we could lose everything at a moments notice. We are taught to compete. We are taught to have more than our neighbours.
We are taught our possessions are a measure of our self worth
Who came up with this bullshit? And why do I feel a requirement to write about it? Because for the last year, I’ve felt like I had to tread carefully around people, as I wasn’t unsure of where I was going on this journey. I couldn’t define who I was, therefore I wasn’t sure where I should put my time and energy, and who I could trust to hold space for me. It’s not all roses. My confidence has been slammed more than once. All because I was rejecting the modern idea I’ve lived my 38 years by, and starting to embrace the idea that there was a better way. A way that most people I know are intrigued by but don’t understand and feel confronted by and defensive about.
A few days ago I told a friend that I felt like I was living a lie
I’m an Aries star sign. Fire. I’m optimistic, egotistical, impatient and some people find me intolerable. Most people don’t understand me or don’t choose to understand me…and most days I can’t be bothered getting into a conversation where I’m expected to justify who I am. Guess I should add arrogance to that list too.
My point….I haven’t been bothered before, that I was living a lie, that people didn’t really know what I was up to. But now I’m about to head home for a bit….its starting to matter to me. Because I’m Aries, I’m impatient, I’d rather put a blog out than have the same conversation 40 times…arrogant, impatient, egotistical, intolerable. This is acceptable over not saying anything. Of living a lie.
Who am I again?
When I left NZ, I was a different person to the person that I am now. Remember the BVOM (Best Version of Me)? Every week I get a little closer to this ideal that I introduced 3 months ago, this goal that I’ve been pushing myself to achieve at warp speed.
Remember that Dr Seuss book, “Are you my mother”, the classic tale of the bird searching high and low for its mother? Sometimes I just stop and put my finger to my temple, give it a bit of a scratch and ponder on who the hell I am…because everyday seems to bring new change. Sometimes I wake up and it takes me a minute to remember what country I’m sleeping in.
But I kind of thrive on this constant sporadic change, the excitement and the freedom of being a Gypsy Soul. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Shoot me if I’m ever tied down to a 9-5 job again.
Which brings me to who I am. I’m a healer, counsellor, teacher and educator. I guess I’m self appointed. This definition maybe a little weird to you if you know me from my ‘previous’ life. Because now you feel like you don’t know me at all, right? Well I guess that’s what this blog is being written for…..to rectify a few misconceptions and to introduce myself again.
I’m a healer
I use different modalities to heal. Energy work like Reiki is just one of them. But fixing a symptom is the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff.
My philosophy (which I stole from Hippocrates) is to use food as medicine and vice versa, and I’ll be investing more time in further study in Ayurveda and TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine), and Qi Gong to support this. My ties to China are strong and its just a matter of when that call will be answered.
I’m a certified raw food chef and detoxification consultant. My main passion in this area is educating EVERYONE on how compromised the digestive system can get, leading to serious illnesses like cancer, diabetes, heart disease etc. And how to rectify these imbalances by simply changing what you eat.
I’m a counsellor
I can talk, yes. I like to tell stories. But I can also listen. I’m a great listener. And I can put context and perspective to complex emotional issues – generally most are comfortable opening up to me. I’m good at just being there, and encouraging people to dig deep and feel their way into their own solutions. I favour lots of methods around this, but working on healing of limiting beliefs, muscle testing and astrology are all area’s I’m exploring.
I’m a teacher
Its come up time and time again, that I like to preach. That just makes me tired. I try not to do that anymore. So if you want to know stuff you’ll have to ask.
I’m an educator
More on this later. But have a few exciting plans up my sleeve for 2015! They’re all inspired by my continual desire to create communities.
I touched on my desire to serve earlier. The area I’m called to – in fact, the area that people are called to me for…is spiritual awareness. People literally find me, they fall into my path, to ask for assistance on how to become more conscious, to become more intuitive. Usually I find that a strong calling to a path of light presents as development of emotional or physical impairment (DIS-EASE – mind, body, soul).
People want guidance, and I’m fully invested in this on both a personal and global scale. I identify most with being a healer, which you might find confusing, but let me put this to you:
The ultimate expression of optimal health is discovered through the journey to enlightenment.
Kirsty Healey – Healer
A call to action – The rubber to the road. The pedal to the metal.
How funny that I wrote the title to this blog a good couple of weeks ago with some half hearted article copied to it. My last blog was on the 5th December, over 2 weeks ago, when I was feeling the overpowering feeling of unconditional love that accompanies enlightenment….but also it seemed…unlimited UNgrounding!!
It’s fair to say I continue to be tested. I haven’t learned all my lessons – it doesn’t work like that. Its a constant journey. But this lesson had me up at 4am this morning working, dancing, blogging and loving the BVOM and the empowerment of mastering this lesson.
You are never alone if you truly love yourself
Ohhhh, just listened to this…love the synchronicity.. Alone – Heart. Old school.
Article – Transitions – A Question of Soul
Our soul, our true self, is the most mysterious, essential, and magical dimension of our being. In fact, it is not a separate reality, as traditional Western thought views it, but the cohesive force that unites our body, heart, and mind. It is not a ghost trapped somehow in the physical machinery of our body but the very essence of our being. ~ G A B R I E L L E R O T H
A transition is a life-altering event, and although the content will differ from person to person, the context is generally the same. A transition comes to shake up our lives, open and move us, and shift who we are being and becoming in the world. It comes to help us, reconnect us to a sense of wholeheartedness, return us to a state of resourcefulness, and redirect us to a whole new track or orientation in life.
As perhaps you can appreciate, a transition is a major experience that leaves us transformed, both inside and out. Transitions are not random events; they are orchestrated by a deeper intelligence to disrupt and also liberate our lives.
We could call this deep intelligence by several names: Life Force, Soul, Higher Self, Tao, Buddha Nature, and Christ Consciousness. “ere are many names, but when it comes down to it, the name does not matter; the important thing to remember is that we are more than this body, this personality, this collection of ego selves, this social identity. Soul operates on many planes of existence, and Earth is but one. It is as Master Jesus said, “In my Father’s House there are many rooms” (John 14:2).
Not all planes are as dense or as challenging as this one. Beyond this plane, the laws of time operate differently. Here, time is linear, but in the realm of soul, past, present, and future are not so distinct. “is is how soul can create synchronicities, which are events in the coming future. Soul can also set up current events to heal past karma. Soul is more powerful than we realize.
Transitions – A Question of Soul
In this world, soul is mostly misunderstood or goes unrecognized. When we come out of the birth canal, we forget we are light and start to live under the illusion that the body is all there is. “is then leads to the idea that without the physical body there would be no consciousness, no existence. ” This is not the case. We are sleepwalkers in this world, and a transition is there to remind us that our personality and body are not the center of the universe. “e body is impermanent, and one day its strength and beauty will pass away.
A transition comes to wake us up from our illusions and delusions. If we are worshiping false idols, then we are not honoring the light within. A transition is meant to open us to the realm of soul. A transition helps us experientially cultivate authenticity, a resilient spirit, a guiding sense of trust and faith, and a meaningful engagement with life. A transition reminds us that life is no mere set of routines. ” The soul is eternal, and it incarnates here on Earth to learn, celebrate, stretch, and grow. If we forget this, we lose our ability to smile, laugh, and cry.
Life can be hard, and most of us are taught to toughen up, hide our vulnerability, and get real. Our peers support us in achieving, chasing, and competing, or on the flip side, getting our needs met by shouting the loudest or playing painful victim games. We become used to putting on a brave face or trying to look good or maintain our cool. “is begins in childhood and kicks off in earnest during teenage years, when we are scrambling to find a new sense of acceptable identity in the world. (Adolescence is itself a major time of transition, which sets the scene for our adult years.)
Transition was once mainly a simple yet profound process of maturation. Living in the modern world is more complex. We are disconnected from our heart and inner light. Now, transition is both a maturation and an awakening process. We need to awaken to our integrity our authentic self, our inner light. When we are disconnected from who we truly are there is a loss of integrity, peace of mind, and courage. We believe what the media or governments are telling us, even though our heart says something different. Here is great peace of mind in feeling the connection to our inner light.
Integrity means not necessarily conforming to societal norms. We listen to others, and we trust our own path. “e word courage comes from the French word coeur, meaning ‘heart.’ Heart and soul are terms that often refer to the same essence. To live a soulful life is to live a courageous life. Soul is the essence of who we are. Our inner light creates a body to inhabit to live in and encounter certain experiences and lessons on the earthly plane. Our soul sets up challenges to meet and learn from. Some of these challenges originate in other lifetimes. Everything is meant to be a learning experience.
This is not to say that the earthly plane is part of some cosmic school. Learning is not meant to be serious and hard. Often, we learn the most when we are having fun and taking life lightly. Often, we learn the most when we are curious, engaged, focused, and purposeful. We learn the most when we feel loved and loving. The most powerful force in the universe is love, and when we are connected to our inner light we know this in blood and bone. Our inner light is part of the universal light. Love is a force that transforms everything.
A transition has much to teach us about love. Yet in this time frame, there is much fear and confusion about love and spirituality. There are so many ideas and belief systems and power games played with the realm of soul. This is because the earthly plane is passing through a time of great ignorance and darkness about spirituality. This is why so many feel confused about spirituality. The net result is that when we feel disconnected from soul we feel contracted, hardened, and afraid. Connection to soul is not a theoretical matter; it must be experienced in the mind and body to be truly known.
A transition helps us break through our fearful, hardened heart so that we can feel and breath the light of spirit once again. Transitions are where life shifts in powerful and unexpected ways. A transition is defined by the dictionary as a ‘passage from one form, state, style or place to another.’ Implicit in this definition is a process of transformation. Transitions cause us to mature emotionally and mentally so that we can cope with living in a complex world. They involve a whole psychological process.
Transitions help us deconstruct a rigid and self-critical ego. Ego could also be called our personality. Our personality is really a gestalt of sub personality parts. Problems come when our ego is too small a container for our inner light. Our personality can deny or resist the inner light. This creates certain problems and shuts down experiences and inner abilities that would otherwise be made available.
When most people talk about the ego, they are usually referring to inner aspects that seek to keep us safe, contracted, and shut down. The ego was not designed to be closed and fearful. We are training it to be that way. A connected, happy, aware, and awake ego is not really a problem. We need an ego to contain our inner light. Ego is there for a purpose. The problem with ego is usually that it is just too anxious, closed, defended, armored, or rigid. The ego is taught to believe in dualistic paradigms of superiority/inferiority and worthiness/unworthiness. The ego is taught to believe that chasing and acquisition is the path to happiness. The ego is taught to believe in looking good. The ego is taught that real genius is cultivated within a Masters or PhD program rather than in the University of Life. The ego is taught to be independent/self-reliant or a whining victim/martyr. The ego is not something we can change through reading a book. The ego has to be transformed, and a radical set of life experiences is one way this can happen.
“When faced with a radical crisis, when the old way of being in the world, of interacting with each other and with the realm of nature doesn’t work anymore, when survival is threatened by seemingly insurmountable problems, an individual life-form — or a species — will either die or become extinct or rise above the limitations of its condition through an evolutionary leap. ~ E C K H A R T T O L L E
There is nothing obvious about transitions. They can sneak up on us without us realizing, and they can begin in strange ways and be accompanied by an odd undercurrent of tension. How we deal with this undercurrent of tension is all important as it determines the overall experience of the journey. A transition will strip away everything nonessential and help us question everything we know about ourselves and our place in the world; therefore, a transition is often confronting and challenging. It brings us face to face with our deepest dreams and our deepest wounds. Personal transitions help us dig deep within ourselves to find a renewed sense of inner light and purpose.
Transitions are both random and predictable. Once the journey starts, within a certain parameter anything can happen. The journey contains elements of chaos, uncertainty, and surprise. This is how is must be. We cannot control the journey, which means we have to find qualities such as faith and trust to successfully navigate the way ahead.
Transition is a soulful journey; it is also a heroic one (one that is far simpler than the many complex theories derived from Joseph Campbell’s original and innovative research and thinking on the mythological hero’s journey). The journey is soulful because it returns us to our original essence. The journey is heroic because it will push us into new experiences and it will open our hearts—and in some cases crack them open, revealing inner abilities, gifts, and talents that were previously dormant.
About the Author
Steve Nobel is known in the body, mind, spirit community in the UK as the founder of the hugely successful, London based non-profit centre for contemporary spiritual and personal development, Alternatives. Trained as a coach and NLP practitioner Nobel is a popular workshop and retreat leader as well as a sought after speaker. He also works at the London based College of Psychic Studies. For more information visit: http://www.stevenobel.com
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