The ecstacy of surrender – finding Twin flames

I have loads of friends and acquaintances who are searching for love.  I want to put a little something out there for all of you, with love from me xxxx.

Typically I resist the American framework of dating when it comes to meeting your special someone.   I detest the structure and rules that accompany this strategy.

Have you seen the movie,   ‘How to lose a guy in 10 days’?

It stars Kate Hudson and Matthew McConnaughy.  I love to look at both these beautiful actors so it’s an instant draw.  Kate plays Andie, a ‘How to…’ column writer for a magazine who is putting her body on the line researching her article on how to lose a guy, and Ben, an advertising executive,  makes a bet that he can make any girl fall in love with him.

I love this movie because no matter what these morons do,  they can’t deny their connection.   The universe just keeps pulling them back together until they eventually yeild.

I’ve put together 4 tips for finding and recognising your Twin flame…this is powerful life changing prepare yourself!

1 Be on your path
2 Ask for what you want
3 Listen to your body
4 Surrender

1. Be on your path
If you’re searching for love at the moment,  it will be more powerful if you’re on your aligned path first.  Your chances of striking the jackpot increase exponentially.  However, its true that in many instances people have been hopelessly moving in the wrong direction,  only to be saved by their Soulmates falling into their path and magically changing their lives around.  I’m reiterating that being on your path is necessary anyway. .its for your highest good.

I can’t stress how important it is that you feel excited about the path you’ve chosen.  You’ll know its the right path by the excitement in your belly, the breadcrumbs the universe sends you, the ease that you’ll fly through life,  the constant feeling of love and happiness and an overall feeling of rightness.

2. Ask for what you want
I’ve talked about ‘The secret – the law of attraction’  before.  The book is much better than the movie by the way.   I would think of this book kind of like a bible for those of you out there that aren’t religious.  It teaches us how to ask for what we want, to create the life we ask for.  It’s powerful.   One of the girls from my course described how she literally had to put the brakes on everything she was getting by asking for balance..she was getting everything she asked for and her world seemed to be tipping over. .she had too much and she didn’t have time to process any of it.

You can have this.  Anyone can have this.   Ask for what you want.   Take time every day.   Form affirmations.  Form intentions.  Ask the universe to provide.   If you want to turbo charge your request,  ask your angels for assistance.

3. Listen to your body. It does not lie.
I’d like to advocate for monogamous relationships, but the truth is that 70% of the relationships in existence are bullshit.  So its no surprise to me that people find Soulmates through affairs.  My advice here is don’t hide away in one of those comfortable relationships pretending that you’re ok with it.  Make space in your life for that someone that’s going to arrive..feather your nest.  Have an expectation that they’re going to turn up.

If you want truth,  listen to your body.   It does not lie.   It will signal to you when you’ve met someone you need to attention!

4. Surrender
Give away your old ideals of what your soulmate will look like,  how much money they’ll earn and suchlike.   This is social conformation at its worst.  We’re thinking. .living in ego when we pander to these ideals.   Sure you can ask for a tall dark and handsome hubby, but is that what you really want?   Don’t forget to ask for the important stuff.

Connection, unconditional love, attraction, passion, shared ideals,  similar life paths…once you have these things. .just like the movies, nothing else matters. .the rest of the details are insignificant.

You choose your soulmate with your heart,  not your head.   It pays not to over analyse. .feel your way. ..

In summary
By being on your path, honing your intuition and trusting the process, love will literally fall in your lap.  Poni-corn Guarantee!

More importantly,  I hope you’ve realised that my 4 laws are universal laws for getting what you want, they don’t just apply to finding your prefect match.

If you can master them, you’ll be on your way to having everything you desire and more!

How Surrender Can Help You Attract Your Soul Mate

by Judith Orloff MD

In my new book, The Ecstasy of Surrender I define a soul mate as a fated romantic relationship with someone to whom you feel a special affinity. You fall in love with and support each other’s souls as well as their bodies. The relationship is never denigrating, abusive, or based on narcissism or control. When you meet, something in you awakens, even rejoices. You can finally breathe. The wait is over–you’re home again.

However, contrary to what you may think, a soul mate isn’t necessarily some ideal person who will make your life perfect or cure your loneliness. Nor do you have to always like each other or agree. But he or she will help you evolve. You’ll learn from one another. There is no deadline for a soul mate. One can arrive when you’re twenty or eighty, whenever the time is right. Sexual attraction is part of the bond though this may vary in different phases of life. Some of these relationships are incredibly smooth, whereas most have more challenges. However, with soul mates, two are stronger than one. You make each other better.

What should you look for in a soul mate? How can you know you’ve met yours? To avoid missing out on these relationships, you must let go of unrealistic expectations. Here’s a summary of some fundamental qualities that define what a soul mate is and isn’t. Though the intensity of these may vary in different phases of your lives, they form the basis of your bond.

How to Identify Your Soul Mate
What a soul mate relationship is:

– You feel a strong connection, comfort, and sense of familiarity
– There’s a physical attraction
– You share mutual love, commitment, and support
– You “get” each other; you’re each other’s biggest fans
– You are emotional mirrors and teachers for each other
– You’re in synch, even telepathic
– You’re willing to work through conflicts, compromise, and surrender unhealthy patterns to improve the relationship

What a soul mate relationship isn’t:

– All about you (or all about your partner)
– Lukewarm, boring, or noncommittal
– Forced or merely a “good idea”
– Based on abuse, control, or rigidity
– Only physical attraction or the sense of “lightning striking”
– The “answer to all your problems” or always conflict-free
– Based on “settling,” being together for convenience, or out of a fear of being alone, breaking up, or change

Whether a soul mate lasts forever, these relationships are transformative and provide a goldmine of lessons. They bring you face-to-face with aspects of your masculine and feminine sides that you desire to integrate. Marriage, which is a civil agreement, doesn’t require that you be with a soul mate. So, if it happens that your spouse isn’t one, or if you always stay single, there are still numerous benefits and much love that is possible. I’m not saying it’s necessarily better or worse to find a soul mate. The level of connection is just different. One thing I am sure of: each of our paths is uniquely perfect. Life presents us with what we need to grow. In this sense, a soul mate may not be appropriate or essential for everyone, as much as the heart may long for one.

Moreover, you can’t force one to arrive or demand that the universe deliver one. I guarantee: that won’t work. This is where surrender is key. It’s a fine balance. You must clarify what qualities you desire in someone, then surrender expectations. Paradoxically, the “letting go” part is what most increases the likelihood of results. Being too hungry or fixated on finding a mate can backfire by acting as a death grip that stifles flow. To manifest a goal, you must always hold it lightly so you don’t inadvertently sabotage yourself by clamping down.

There are clear ways to hone your intuitive focus to make it more possible for your soul mate to materialize. Here is an exercise to do from The Ecstasy of Surrender.

Invite Your Soul Mate In
Surrender into action by setting the stage for a soul mate, then notice the signs that he or she has arrived.

1. Make a wish list

Spend some quiet time picturing the qualities you most desire in a mate. Ask yourself: What would truly be good for me? What do I need? Intelligence? Kindness? Support? Chemistry? Wants children? Good communication skills? Is he or she spiritually connected? Also make a list of traits that are unacceptable to you such as being self-absorbed or rigid. Everyone’s needs are different.

2. Release Expectations

Think of your list as a letter to spirit. You’ve put in your soul mate requests. No need to keep re-sending the letter. Now, let the list go. Hold your desires lightly in your heart but don’t push. Have faith that you’ve been heard.

3. Listen to Intuition

Pay attention to intuitive signs that you’ve met someone of interest, even if he or she isn’t “your type.” These are: A sudden wave of chills, a gut feeling of attraction, or a flash of insight that this person may be right for you. Also stay aware of intuitions such as a sick feeling in your gut or a sense of distrust that warns, “Danger. Bad news. Stay away.” These will protect you from unhealthy relationships.

4. Be aware of synchronicities and déjà vu

Synchronicities are moments of perfect timing when paths effortlessly interconnect. You sit next to someone in a movie who turns out to be your soul mate. Or, out of the blue, you have a chance to go to Paris where you meet The One. Also, notice when you have a sense of déjà vu–as if you’ve known each other before. If this occurs with a stranger, say in the market, act on the situation by smiling and making eye contact. Then strike up a conversation such as asking for directions.

This article was adapted from The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your Life, Harmony Books, 2014 by Judith Orloff MD.



  1. Lynda · December 6, 2014

    Wow very uplifting. Thank you I needed those reminders. L

    Sent from my iPhone



  2. drummondvintage · December 7, 2014

    Such an Insightful post Kirsty, loved it! Ive just read “The Soulmate Secret” by arielle ford which resonates with a similar message. Blessings and love xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kirsty Healey · December 7, 2014

    Oohhh Thanks for the comment, lll look the title up. I have someone who’ll be interested in reading that! Love K xx


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