Gratitude, Good Karma, Anti-Posturing & BVOM

Ok folks, you can all let out that collective breath you were holding.  Yesterday’s blog was just a tad heavy.  I’m not apologising for it – there will be more like it.   As my amazing friend Slinny put it ‘it answered the questions that I was too afraid to ask’.  My answer to that?  I’m in a good space – so ask away people,  whatever, whenever.  I invite you to comment actively.  It creates a healing environment for everyone and promotes deeper discussion.

We’re real friends now – we’ve shared some painful experiences.  We know each other.  We know the pain, the questions in each other’s heart’s- May Sarton

A lesson in being present – yet again!!
As an aside, here’s what happened.  It seems that being present is a constant challenge for me.  Last night I wrote 2/3 of a blog.   I wanted to write a blog on health.   I have lots to say on health.  I had spent the whole day texting various friends and family bits of what I thought was helpful information and opinion.  Soooo…it turns out I was in sermon mode.  Oops…sorry to my victims!  Though I think I’m getting better at assisting people by enabling them rather than rescuing them (tx for making that point Michael!), I wondered why I had so much material on health but it wasn’t coming together.  Why did it all feel wrong?  I gave up and retired from my awesome candlelit table on the beach, to my villa. I opened my journal.  And out spilled yesterday’s blog in one foul dark evacuation.

But as hard as I tried, I couldn’t get it to publish.  WordPress is a bitch with slow internet!

I woke up thinking about my blog failures and spent the next hour walking around the beach (tough I know) finding enough reception to publish, then edit, update and republish.  Finally done. Interestingly, despite it being the weekend, there was very little feedback.   I now know you all read my blog secretly at work while pretending to download quarterly reports or something else similarly less interesting than reading about death.   Were you all too shocked and dumbfounded into silence.  Maybe you felt uncomfortable and didn’t know what to say?  Please don’t tell me you haven’t read it and less than one year on I’m no longer the centre of your universe. Two letters people – WP!!  I still have a month left of my minimum one year of support – so in the words of Cristina Yang ‘buck up’.
oh and thx for sticking round..xx

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It seems we all prefer to be inspired, and we feel disconcerted by awkward, emotional and frankly depressing situations.   (Correct me if I’m wrong)  As I noted on one of my group chats – some things are just fucked up – whichever way you look at them.

Savour this moment
Anyway,  Kirsty, get to the point..my little truth was that I was trying to educate (ie rescue/preach) instead of being inspired by the purpose of this blog – to heal myself.  The blogs must be written with my story in mind and it must be true for me today – I have to be feeling it in order to be inspired to write about it.   When I blog with this purpose in mind, the words flow effortlessly, the posts write themselves.  Just like this one is.

The second lesson in being present came as I embarked on my adventure this afternoon.   For the first hour I felt anxiety in my gut.  I looked into it.  Turns out I couldn’t stop thinking about epic blog failure.  Maybe I’d lost the Bali magic?  Maybe all the super powers I’d built up from the retreat had dissipated over the course of a week?  Possible.  No.  Back came a simple and critical affirmation:

Savour this moment.  Taste it, smell it, hear it, feel it, touch it.

Instantaneously I felt the anxiety shift. I felt lighter.  Clarity returned..and with it the inspiration for this blog!

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Anti-posturing/KUWTJT
Anyone who has ever done any sales training or been in a professional role knows about posturing.

Cambridge Definition: Posturing
A behaviour or speech intended to attract attention or interest in order to make people believe something that is not true.

I’m not completely ok with this definition – its so much more than that,  however for the purpose of this it’ll be fine.  I raise this with reference to KUWTJT.  Keeping Up With The Jones theory.  One reason I desperately wanted to escape Wellington before I exploded,  was KUWTJT. Everyone is chasing the million dollar property with the million dollar mortgage, 2.5 kids, some kind of dog involving a doodle (spoodle, labradoodle), and the latest SUV.  I’m not going to go all Nigel Latta on you…yet…but Welly just isn’t my space at the moment.  For most its a race without a finish line.  One of my teacher friends from Hong Kong sent me the following – many thanks secret agent Marissa.

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As I was sidling back from 3 hours of pampering massage I observed 3 Balinese women elegantly swaying down the sidewalk, heavy baskets balanced atop their heads,  body perfectly aligned from top to toe, shoulders back.   They were delighting in each others company, basking in life, content to just be.  We could label it an excellent picture of deportment.  I like to think of it as the antithesis of Western posturing – Anti-Posturing.

Definition: Anti-Posturing
Behaviour or speech intended for no particular reason except to live in the moment in alignment with your truth thereby creating unlimited inner peace – a skill which other people are intrigued by for their inability to replicate it in their own lives.

Gratitude
Yesterday and every year,  the Balinese have a ceremony where they give thanks and gratitude to their cars and motorcycles.  They hang decorations on their respective vehicles.  They give thanks that these machines have worked relentlessly for them over the past year and they pray for it to continue.  This also includes all appliances and technology,  coffee machines, laptops etc.  This sounds slightly odd, right?  Not to me.  But that’s a whole discussion for a different blog.  Every 6 months they also give thanks to all the trees amongst other things.

Made the photographer has a habit of saying thank after every sentence.  Our conversations tend to go like this:

M – Here’s your mango  Thank you
K – No -Thank YOU!
M – No – Thank YOU!!

I slog away correcting my self talk,  plastering positive affirmations everywhere and diarising my morning gratitude session, but to the Balinese its second nature.  Everyone is expected to participate, its engrained into them from birth.

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Good Karma
Mades business is called Good Karma – I consider it very good fortune indeed that I met him.  Most Balinese that I’ve met are intensely aware of the effects of good and bad karma.

Made the driver described how his driver friend set an above market price for an Aussie client.  The result – a serious accident and his vehicle (& livelihood) out of commission.

There is a repayment of debt required by any visitor to a place like Bali.  You got to come here and have a dirt cheap holiday.  Pay it forward.  These people need your help.

This evening I spent 3 hours with Made setting up a facebook page for his business.  We scootered to his friends warung  and ate delicious spicy homecooked local food. We chatted about some easy strategies and add ons to the business but mainly it was about him, who he was, how to deal with his brain busy-ness, what was his first inspiration to start sculpting, how big was his house going to be when he was rolling in cash….Dinner was  $4.50.  I splashed out and had 2 iced teas.

BVOM

Definition : Best Version Of Me

There are several themes that keep popping up for me:
1) Remaining present
2) Focussing on fun times
3) Holding space

1) and 2) I’ve talked about already.


Holding space
Made and I trekked into see 2 waterfalls today.  The second one was amazing.  I think because noone else was around and we could get really close and feel the spray and noise engulf us.  It had crazy good energy and I immediately felt a desire to do some reiki (are you reading this Aaron S. and applauding??)…and yes people, the cats out of the bag, I practice Reiki!  Made was intrigued when I told him I was going to do a Reiki session and said enthusiastically ‘me too!’  So I did a short self reiki treatment.  It was just what I needed.  I opened my eyes to find a Swiss couple waiting politely for me to finish.  The calm and peace I’d been missing from the start of the day had instaneously been replenished and I was feeling a little humbled and also ashamed I hadn’t been following a daily practice.

In one of my sessions with Michael, 3 very distinct personalities were revealed.  Realme had been buried under a pile of shit for so long that her little voice was meek and she had given up.

Holding space means so many things to me:
1)  Following my intuition
2)  Reiki
3)   Yoga
4)   Meditation
5)   80% raw diet
6)   Keeping Realme happy
7)  Remaining present
8)  Expressing gratitude
9)  Sunshine, Sea
10)  Climbing mountains

Undoubtedly 95% of the readers of my blog at this stage will be positively confused.  But I don’t blame you for that.  My own mother sent me a SMS asking what I was really doing in Bali.  My mother in law wanted to make sure I hadn’t joined a cult.  You might think I’ve changed. I’m telling you now, I’ve just been dusting off the BVOM – Better Version Of Me.

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My current affirmations:
– Savour this moment
– Fun, Freedom, Health, Spirit

Very touching movie on Bali:
Bali: Life is an offering (Thx for the recommendation Michael)

Book:
The Secret: the Law of attraction

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9 comments

  1. Julia · October 19, 2014

    Reading your Holding Space list was like looking in the mirror at the things I am trying to strive for in life. Funny I never knew any of this about you, love it, understand it and support it 100%, you go girl :p.

    Like

  2. Mike · October 19, 2014

    You may take for granted I’m reading all your posts Poni – “Hurry up inner peace I haven’t got all day” – exactly!

    Like

    • Kirsty Healey · October 20, 2014

      One of my affirmations that keeps popping in: “I’ve got all the time in the world” easy for me, I know! !! They’re not going anywhere Mikey, save some bathroom material! Xx

      Like

  3. Charlie · October 20, 2014

    Dear Kirsty, I am pondering this notion of holding space ( whilst sitting at my desk in Welly, chasing someone else’s dream!) I like it.. I might steal it..

    Like

  4. John Hanna · October 20, 2014

    Great words strung together in a fine order that reveals a healing mind, fighting spirit and massive heart x

    Like

  5. Tina · October 21, 2014

    Dearest Kirsty, yesterday I wrote a comment to this post, and like you I lost it. Sometimes technology has its own mind. But where in the past I would have tried again until it was complete, this time I left it and carried on into the day outside where I immersed myself in the planting of natives, grounding , communing with nature. I love this post, your observations are so on the mark. I am starting to see that technology hijacks our ability to be present, mindful, it steals our focus from other more nurturing options. You see that too. Like the ego, it is a tool to be used when needed, but we must always be alert to keep it reined in, lest it dominate and override our soul. The other point you make that I love is on that lifelong desire for material gain, career, asset building. Again the risk is where it dominates, and we lose our soul to something soulless. Ive been there too. It takes time to disconnect, and faith to persevere, but hearing the little voice get stronger is the reward -self truth and authenticity. I actually started my first comment with be careful girlfriend, you are at risk of experiencing joy, abundance and happiness with those outlooks! This is your time, embrace the daily observations and opportunities to grow. Love you loads xxx

    Like

    • Kirsty Healey · October 21, 2014

      I love your comments, you are (for want of better terms) on the money! !! Hahaha!! And magic has occurred Miss Sunshine, Ive tried to approve comments 5 times this morning. When I read your comments I said to myself this comment is going to go through no problem because it will just be and what do you know – can’t dispute this connection! Love who you are, love that we ‘get’ each other. Appreciate your support. Big love xx

      Like

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