I am what I am

I am what I am

I love me

I welcome and accept help

I’m open to receive

It’s taken 10 months and considerable pain and trauma to accept.  I really can’t do everything myself, in fact I’m a better person when I ask for help.  I hate asking for help.

..So I have the above affirmation on my phone.  I look at my phone about a hundred times a day..so its a good reminder. (btw I’m trying very hard not to look at my phone so much…and failing dismally..  😦

I’m a strong, modern independent woman.  That means I can wear a skirt and heels while I check the oil and water …and I won’t admit that I had to ask for assistance because the oil cap was on so friggin tight that the tiny forecourt attendant had to ask another dude ..he of course ..had it loose in micro seconds…also I should not mention the amount of oil that needed to be topped up because I’d absentmindedly traversed the country several times without car maintenance thoughts being prioritised…Dad would have kittens…

I have a soul mate.  He died suddenly in November 2013.  One of our bestest friends wrote this down, which captures my sentiment exactly..

“You otherfucker – we had plans!”, followed by “But I still love you, you fricken ass” (Tx ‘Mon)

…so now I have to learn to gracefully accept that not only can I not change the past,  I’m also not equipped (yet) for the future.  Its taken 10 months, but now I’m ok with that.  My journey is only just beginning.  I wish I could give someone out there going through a similar process, some shortcuts, but its such a personal journey.  But I do have practical tools that I can share over time, and hopefully some inspiration.  If nothing else, it will form another step in my own healing journey…and maybe it’ll be funny…in a laugh at me kind of way..

surrender

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4 comments

  1. Cara · September 30, 2014

    You are amazing kirsty! Love you xx

    Like

  2. Elise · October 5, 2014

    You are truly one amazing person, a great friend, sister, and role model. You are my inspiration to live life to the fullest and to see things in a positive light. Your the strongest person I know and I only hope to turn out to be half the person you are throughout my life journey. Reading your blogs make me admire you more as a person. Scott would be so proud! Love you lots sis xx

    Like

    • Kirsty Healey · October 5, 2014

      Tk u very much. I like that you like it. Love you too and love that we can share this xx

      Like

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